March 17, 2020

*This was written weeks ago before the threat of coronavirus was where it was today. As we have decided to share this incredible news a week sooner – to bring light and joy to the world – I originally thought about re-writing this entire blog post. I have decided to leave it. I think it’s important to hear my voice before the fear, before the uncertainty of what we are facing now*

We are having baby #3!!! We are soooo excited! I found out I was pregnant a few days before Valentine’s Day. I was completely shocked! I was a week late so it shouldn’t have been that much of a shock, but working from home now truly has me not even knowing what day it is! I decided to take a pregnancy test on a whim after picking the boys up from school. They asked to go buy their friends Valentine’s Day candy. I thought I might as well grab a pregnancy test while we were at Walgreens. When I took the test and seen that positive I instantly called my mom. She was over the moon! I thought about waiting a full 3 1/2 days and surprising Derrek on Valentine’s Day. I just could not wait that long – as soon as he came home from work that day I was kissing on him and just in the best mood, smiling for what seemed like no reason lol Stay tuned to find out how I surprised Derrek – it was so great, so special! That will have to be a post in it’s own.

It feels like forever since I was pregnant last – 7+ years ago! It all feels so new again. So much has even just changed since I was pregnant last. I instantly downloaded the bump app. It’s so fun to read about the baby’s growth and build excitement for his/her arrival. This pregnancy has been so much different! Because of my placenta abruption with Jaxon and the trauma we had at birth + my seizure disorder that developed since my last pregnancy – I am being watched extra close. To be completely honest, this pregnancy has been very scary. In the first trimester I felt like I couldn’t live my normal life. I didn’t want to leave my bed. I was so worried 24/7. This pregnancy also brought on terrible nausea and food aversion. It has been so hard for me to eat anything at all. Not eating makes my exhaustion & nausea even worse! I feel like if I don’t get a nap mid day I can’t continue on. With all of the worry and not feeling myself – I think it brought on the “baby blues” – I never thought it could happen to me – but I found myself in some very low places feeling sad and lost during the first trimester.

The boys are THRILLED! They have been asking for a baby everyday for months if not years! It was actually so funny – when we were at Walgreens I was sneaking into the pregnancy test isle trying to grab a test quickly without them knowing what I was shopping for. Trevor was looking across the isle at the diapers. He spotted a cute babe on the box and said, “look at this adorable baby, how can daddy see this baby and say no to one more kid!”

Once I surprised Derrek and told him the news – we decided to surprise the boys too! We were way too excited! It was so funny. I think I was expecting pure joy instantly – but the news shocked them just as much as it shocked us. It took a full 12 hours for them to come around. Trevor was very nervous. Although he was young when Jax was born – he remembers the trauma. He is afraid what happened with Jax will happen again. He was also afraid he could squish the baby. Everyday brings more ease to his sweet soul. I’ve communicated with him that there’s nothing he could ever do to hurt the baby & that all we can do is pray the lord will protect this little babe. Trevor is so sweet. He will wait outside my shower and make sure i’m okay. He runs all over the house for me so I don’t have to move a finger. Jaxon had a moment with tears that rocked me to my core. He crawled up in my arms saying he’s sooo excited but also scared because he loves the way things are with the family now – and the baby will change things. I explained to him that this baby will certainly change things, but in the best way! Since they’ve expressed their initial concerns – they’ve been nothing but excited! They want a little sister and can’t wait til I give them the go ahead to tell everyone!

I am soooo excited to be sharing this news with you all! I feel like I’ve been a little MIA & not myself on social media the past few weeks – mostly because I’ve been sleeping or getting sick 24/7 – but also trying to hide this bump! I felt like as soon I took the pregnancy test & seen the positive I looked pregnant! That made me so excited! I think nothing is cuter than pregnant women – I’m so excited to dress my bump this time around! So buckle up – – – my pregnancy may seem like it’s gonna last 12 months with all the pictures I’ll be sharing!


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